Passions

What are you passionate about? This can be an interesting question because in can be interpreted a lot of different ways. I'm not talking about things you're interested in or just like doing, I'm talking about things that stir your soul.

Upon looking up the word "passionate" in the dictionary this is the first result I receive: "Showing or expressing strong beliefs, interest, or enthusiasm." (There are other uses for this word that are related, but my focus today is using this definition.) Some things that I have determined I am passionate about are first and foremost my relationship with my Heavenly Father as well as my Savior, writing, and music. There are others, but these are the ones in my mind that mean the most to me right now.

The one that I'll focus on most is writing, which I think in large portion really comes down to storytelling for me. I've been telling stories for as long as I can remember, whether verbally, through acting, through daydreaming, or thorough writing. I remember writing my first "book" when I was about three years old. I drew the pictures, stapled them together, and had my parents transcribe my description. It was about a dinosaur named Harry who was sad because while all the other dinosaurs were hairy, he hadn't had a single hair come in yet (My three year old self probably knew dinosaurs didn't grow hair, but my imagination grasped the idea of "what if?"). By the end of the book he was starting to grow hair and was so excited. I even wrote a sequel!

The interesting thing about the fact that I love writing is that my spelling used to be terrible. Even though I've loved stories and reading from a very young age the actual writing aspect was a struggle for a long time. Spellcheck was my best friend, and even then it sometimes couldn't figure out the word I was trying to spell. In the three times I participated in the spelling bee I went out in the first round twice. It wasn't until I was fourteen that I had much confidence in my ability to spell. That was the last year that I could do the spelling bee, and I lost the tiebreaker for third place, taking fourth! The really funny part? The words I missed were "falsetto" and "vibrato," both music related words.

Did I let my struggling spelling skills hold me back? No! I continued to create stories, whether I actually wrote them or not. I went to events at my local library with guest authors and wished that there was even a chance for aspiring writers to earn enough money to make a living. The idea of being an author greatly appealed to me, but I thought it was impractical. (Did I bother asking the guest authors? Er, no.)

I pushed away the idea for years. I just didn't see it as possible. I was still a kid, and I was letting stigmas crush my dreams, though I didn't see it at the time. Do. Not. Let. Your. Dreams. Be. Crushed. Had I truly believed in my passion (though I didn't realize then that's what it was) at the time I could be leaps and bounds ahead of where I am in my current skill level. I'm grateful for where I am, and for how I got here, but now I know that I want my children to grow up knowing that it is okay to follow their wholesome passions. The most important thing though is that I didn't let the idea die. There was still a part of me that longed to write and create.

Part of what makes it a passion to me is the fulfillment I feel when I am doing it. I feel so much myself. It brings me great joy, not just fleeting happiness. Especially when I can look back at a finished project, or even just a project that I've worked on a lot. The fact that I created something so cool, even when it is a collaborative effort, brings me great joy and satisfaction.

I could go on and on, but let's look at another passion of mine, music. What about music makes it a passion? I think the biggest thing is they way it makes me feel, much like writing. I feel so much joy when I sing, or play my violin, or listen to wholesome music. Sometimes I'm not as focused on the words or the notes as I would like, but I still love what I am doing.

Another thing that brings the joy into my passions is the connection that I feel to my Heavenly Father. In music I can sing His praises, or remember that He is always there for me. I feel His power even when listening to music that might be considered secular, because it relates to my life. This is one reason I am very selective of the music that I listen to, because I can feel it when the song drives away the Spirit. When that happens that song gets deleted or skipped, even if I previously really enjoyed the song, though I tend to keep those a bit longer to make sure it wasn't just my mood that day or misunderstanding the lyrics (it usually isn't, but it has been in a few cases).

In my writing, I feel connected to my Heavenly Father because I am using the creative powers He has given me, creating worlds like He has, though on a much, much smaller scale. I learn the importance of agency as I allow my characters to make mistakes. When I let them go through hard things because I know the growth they will go through I better see how God does the same thing for me, and it makes my trials a little bit easier to bear.

My passions bring me joy. More so than other things that are more of an interest. Does that mean those things can't become passions? No, but as of right now they are hobbies, not passions. Does the fact that I'm passionate about something mean it's always easy or I always want to work on it? No! Sometimes I really don't want to work on it, even though I know that it will help me, or something needs to get done. But it is in those times that I go through the most growth, even if I don't see it for a while.

What are you passionate about? What brings you the most joy? How does it better connect you with heaven?